There are times when we all get to a point where we just wander through our days trying to accomplish something, while feeling like we're in a fog. Then something happens that snaps us out of it, and we can either perk up, and get on with life, or we can get bitter, mean, and angry, concentrating on nothing but the wrong that's been done to us.

For me, this came three months after my wedding. A friend of mine miscarried her first baby at seven weeks. One week later, I found out that I was expecting. I was ecstatic! It was so amazing! I was a mom! Four days later, my little one died. It was devastating for me, I was just about crushed. I went on, going through the motions of life, waiting to get pregnant again. The longer that it went without anything happening, the more depressed I got. I just felt like I was failing as a woman. My husband was wonderful during this time, being very supportive, telling me that his love for me was not based on whether or not I could have children, and that he would stand by my side no matter what.

For nine months I wandered around in a fog, just waiting for a sign of another pregnancy. During this time, three other women who got married right around the time I did, got pregnant and had healthy babies. Two of them had miscarried their first, and got pregnant again a couple months later, carrying to term. When the third one called to tell me that her baby was born, I hung up the phone after talking with her, and bawled. I wanted to be happy for her, but was only able to think of how much I wanted that baby to be mine. I was well on my way to being bitter and angry.

Then one day, I was thinking about that day's mini-sermon, which was that "less good does not equal more evil". In other words, if I get ten dollars for my birthday, and my sister gets twenty, it does not mean that any wrong has been done to me, just because she got more. I had been thinking along the lines of "Children are a blessing, therefore, lack of children is a curse. Why have I been cursed?" I realised that my whole argument fell apart. There was no curse involved, just not as much blessing!

This completely blew the fog away, I realised that if I became bitter and angry, I would just push away the friends that I had, and would make life miserable for both my husband and myself. Also, I now had no grounds for upset! This was amazing for me, I repented of my bad attitude, my selfishness, and anger, turned around, and started walking in the other direction. Toward getting on with life, rather than dwelling on one little day that happened almost a year previous.

It has been freeing! Sure, there are days that I still look back. There are other things that helped, other struggles I've had to face, but that was the beginning of the healing of my heart.